pressure testing...

 It has been an eventful couple of years since my last post in February 2016.  After my divorce, I thought it would be impossible for me to love another man, just for the simple reason that I loved my ex husband so much, although I knew that we will never be together again and that he moved on.

I met a man that was funny and got my sense of humor, within six months I fell pregnant and needless to say he left and moved on with his life.  The hardest for me in this entire situation was to disappoint my dad, because I knew immediately that this man was not going to stick around for me and that this will hurt my dad the most, because I know that he doesn't want me to be lonely, because we both been very lonely in our lives and I know that this possibility for me for the rest of my life will be devastating to him.  I knew that at age 43 with a baby will bring a couple of challenges for me.  Despite all this I wasn't broken and just got up and wiped my tears and moved on.

I knew I could't do my pottery business with a baby by my side so I started my decor business, Melkbosstrand Decor & Functions, funny enough this was something I always wanted to do.  When I was in grade 12, I wanted to enrol in a course after school to go into the event planning business, but computers was the future and I started a course in Dos after school, I did not even know if I passed the year, I was not interested at all, needless to say that was time wasted.  So 24 years later I started doing what I wanted to do all my life.  Everything happened so easily for me, I got my first wedding and it snowballed from there, so it was confirmation that God's hand was in it.  Although I always knew that Sandra Wilhelmina will always be picked up again. 

​So little Mia is now two years old and at last I am painting again.  I am so blessed to be able to do both.

I started painting magnolia flowers, but when my sister send me a picture of a poppy flower, I googled the meaning and came across the following.   "What does the Poppy flower mean?  For many cultures, the Poppy is a symbol of:  Restful sleep and recovery, consolation for a loss or death in the family, remembering the fallen of various wars and armed conflicts, a lively imagination, peace in death, messages delivered in dreams, resurrection and eternal life, beauty and success, extravagance and luxury."

I thought that this is so perfect for this season in my life and for the new Sandra Wilhelmina.  Although I went through some difficult times while falling pregnant again and raising little Mia, I can with 100% say that I now am recovered of very hard times after my divorce, she gave me the distraction I needed to heal and recover.  Although I can definitely not say I have restful sleeps yet, I know that this will also come soon.  Although my divorce was not a death, I see it as something very similar, because I've lost my mother, I know that the "loss" of my husband was like death to me and Mia somehow brought consolation to our little family of two and now we are three, I now have peace in "death" of my marriage.

May the future bring beauty and success with a dash of extravagance and luxury!